I chanced upon a fantastic website unconditionalconfidence.com. Nancy Tierney is the author of this site. She has made similar discoveries about stage fright and fear of public speaking as I have. Her blog is full of great ideas and insights! For instance she says “The fear of speaking in public could be cured with a healthy dose of love and respect for yourself.” I so agree! The fear and tension triggered by speaking in front of others is absolutely related to lack of love for oneself. In stage fright, we are focusing too much on what they, the audience, might think about us and our capability instead of focusing on what we have to offer listeners. When we are able to love ourselves, accept ourselves and share our energy and insights, then fear dissolves.
Nancy offers some steps to move you towards falling in love with yourself which I encourage you to read at her blog. Her tips are excellent but way too big for most people to just do quickly. If you could just switch on the love for yourself in front of an audience, you would be cured instantly. My experience is that realistically it is going to take a process of transformation to uncover the feeling of love for yourself in front of others. You must go through a process of releasing the fear and tension that occurs when you become the center of attention. As Nancy knows, this tension is just energy in the body. It is getting blocked along different points of the body creating an experience of great discomfort to the point that you may not be willing to stay present while speaking in front of others.
In my programs, we create an emotionally safe group where each participant can have the chance to explore the tension of being the center of attention in front of the group. The process of curious exploration causes the tension to transform into a bodily-felt sense of flow and the energy moves through the body. Then the energy that had been tension and that was blocking our authenticity and distracting us from speaking freely now feels wonderful! Once we release the inner tension, what we find underneath is love flowing through us. Love is what we are, all of us – living energy of love expressing through a physical body. And once we connect with the love that is in all of us, we become energized with a joy to share our ideas, insights, talents and expertise. The love buoys our spirit and the words flow freely. If you want to experience your own love for yourself as well as for your audiences, consider participating in a Speaking from the Heart class or workshop.
